If I stay awake will tomorrow come?

For someone who writes for a living I am struggling to find the words to describe the love and support that has showered me and my family over the past week.

A while ago two of my beautiful school mum friends invited me for a coffee.

Nothing unusual about that you would think! That was until they told me about their idea to hold a High Tea to help support us as we moved forward from chemo to surgery, radiotherapy and beyond.

I didn’t know what to think or say. Why would people I had only met less than 18 months earlier want to do this for us? Why would people want to come?

There were so many unanswered questions going around in my head from the time they proposed the idea to the time I walked into the school hall last Saturday and saw the incredible work they had put in in such a short amount of time to help us on this rocky road.

There were candles, lanterns, macarons, sandwiches, pretty tea pots and of course champagne!

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There were people — a lot of them — friends from my teenage years, friends I have only made in the past 18 months, family and even some people I had never met. It was the most amazing show of support and love I have ever been a part of.

We laughed as people won raffle prizes, bought things at the silent auction like tickets to see Ed Sheeran and watched as I drew my sister-in-law’s ticket out to win first prize in the raffle. We cried as these amazing people made their way over to me for some of the most comforting hugs I’ve ever had in my life to let me know they were there for us as a family in so many ways.

It was all to help support us beyond tomorrow!

Tomorrow — the day when I face surgery for the first time under a general anesthetic.

Tomorrow — the day I take the next step in clearing my body of cancer.

Tomorrow — the day I am dreading as I face the reality of having a mastectomy and waking up without my right boob

Tomorrow — the day I am hoping won’t come if I stay awake.

I’m sitting here adding music and podcasts onto my phone hoping they will help me get through the next couple of days.

If I stay awake will tomorrow come?

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4 thoughts on “If I stay awake will tomorrow come?

  1. No need to stress sis you don’t have much in the way of boobs anyway (haha) & look at the positive Ross gets to pick the ones he wants you to have.. (Would be so funny if you got some MONSTER CANS.. ) going under is not that bad believe me I’ve been under 11 times.. Maybe that’s why I’m off with the fairies.. As I said to you on Sunday people or good people even support shitheads like you.. SERIOUSLY you are lucky to have the friends that you do & they are lucky to have you.. As I’ve said before nothing to worry about you are going to kick the big Cs arse.. Love you heaps , am extremely grateful to have you as my sis & I will be there waiting for you when you get out.. Xxxxx

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  2. Trust me, anaesthetic will be the best sleep you’ve had in YEARS! Had it once, begged them to sleep me a little longer LOL. Your blog brought tears to my eyes. I’m a mummy at the school too – at the other campus, so we haven’t met unfortunately. But I wish you all the strength and courage in the world, and I know from experience that our community is AMAZING when you are in need. I won’t lie to you, there will be many tomorrows that will challenge you while you fight the big C. Be brave when you need to, give yourself permission to be scared sometimes, cry, but remember to laugh. xxxxxxx R

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  3. Trace
    For someone who also writes for a living I am struggling to put my thoughts into words. You’re one of the good ones babe! You’re honest and raw and your courage and strength is inspiring. I’m in tears reading the words of support from your brother and how the high tea went. My love and best best wishes are with you today! Go kick cancer’s butt babe – you’ve got too many other things to do! Big hugs and lots of love xxx

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  4. Tracey you inspired me in the short time I got to know you and still today you pop into memories as one of those ever so unique people i wish to have met a little more of. I wish you and your and family the best journey on these unknown paths ahead of you.

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